I was the "new person" in a group of female friends. During the chatter, one of the women said loudly to her friend, "You have gotten too heavy. You look like you've packed on at least 20 pounds. You really need to get rid of some of that weight!" The woman at whom the remark was directed replied, "We may be friends, but you really need to mind your own business!"
I kept my mouth shut, but I did have some thoughts. Would I have said that to one of my friends? Why would I say that to one of my friends? Would I say it out of concern for health reasons? Would I say that in a group or would I say that one-on-one? Don't most adults know when they have gained lots of weight? Would I want one of my friends to address my weight with me, and if so, under what circumstances?
Some people never give unsolicited advice. Is that always a good thing?
It would be wise to consider how we say what we say, and when we should say it, and why we say it.
Take care,
Sylvia
Hello Sylvia,
ReplyDeleteWeight, like politics and religion, is usually a "hands-off topic," no matter what dynamics exist within the group.
Advice should be helpful - not offensive.